Hallucinations of the Prinsediran XVII: I Am Afraid [Of Hoping]

I am afraid I am here again, alone with Moi and Moi said.. “I am afraid this condition called ‘being alive’ will last forever. I do hope my life has an end”

I am becoming worryingly aware that I’m quite creative. I am afraid of what I might do.. Though I used to be intelligent until I became creative, I don’t know which one was better. I do hope pride doesn’t takeover me.

I am afraid I’m defenceless, I do hope the devil overlooks me.

I am afraid of silence….I hope the music will never end.

I am afraid I am falling…someone had gotten careless and let me go. It’ll be selfish for me to stand by myself and for myself. I do hope I’ll stand for someone, someday.

I am afraid the light is becoming more intense… I don’t know what sin I committed against it, I can hardly comprehend it these days. I do hope I’ll be forgiven someday.

I am afraid of the road ahead of me…surely there will be peace somewhere. If I hope on that, it becomes obvious that I’ll never get it. I am afraid of hope, for once I hope, I’m almost certain it will never come to pass.

What do you hope for?

Prinsedira, Wuzybury


Hallucinations of the Prinsediran XVI: Find The Ability [To Listen]

With Moi again and Moi said to me, “ever wondered how helpless and powerless humans are? Only pride makes them think otherwise, only selfishness makes them act otherwise… For they hardly hear everyone else, and they hardly speak for anyone else. Until they find them the ability to listen, they may never know all that they need to know.

Many times, you are like the Trees, the Pictures, the Mirror, the Food & Water, the Pen and the Bed, these are things no one can hear speak.

We thank the bed for being soft and yet strong to carry our weight all night, for the peace and quietness, the silence when our ears rested on you. Thanks for letting us sleep without making so much noise about your many problems. Yes, I understand you had a lot to tell me too… Tis must wait until I find that ability to listen to beds like you.

To the Food (both plants and animal), I’m sure you tried to stay alive for your families… Do not worry, I’ll take good care of them and I’ll try to send them to you as quick as possible; you know our hunger will always come back. I understand you had plenty to say to me, even when you came close to my ears, you only provided my tongue with some sweet taste and flavour… Those words indeed had to wait because you know I’m yet to find the ability to listen to foods like you.

Pictures hang all day on the wall, staring back at us, they listen, they can hear us, they have a lot to say too, but can we hear them? Yes, when we find the ability to listen. Until someone someday decides to talk to photographs, maybe, just maybe then I myself will have the courage to speak up.

The pen is almost loud, almost heard, almost speaking. But never her own words, just that of the Alpha Pen-bender. You’ve been most obedient, most loyal, most attentive, yes, when shall I learn to understand what you have to say? When will I find the ability to listen to you?

We thank the trees for the wind, we thank them for the shelter. Above all, we thank them for speaking a language we cannot yet understand, lest we’ll be bothered by all the troubles they will tell us about. Even when it seems like we care, we are yet to find the ability to listen to trees like you.

The mirror, sees it all, never blinks. How can one so knowledgeable about his surroundings say nothing in a language that we can understand? Indeed you speak, I must admit it is of my ears to seek out ways to find us that ability to listen to you.

If your life be so silent, then one must question if you are alive. Find a way to speak, they’ll find a way to listen, hopefully.

Prinsedira, Wuzybury